There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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