i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize