Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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