So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
