There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
