Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
