She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
