I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
