I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
