Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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