rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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