so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
