my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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