I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he fucked my hip out of place.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
