I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
