I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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