i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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