would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
