420 ftw
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
