We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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