It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
