she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
