Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
