I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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