Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
