it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
