Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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