i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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