Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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