i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
