omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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