yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
