Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
