I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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