Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
