its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
