Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
