I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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