Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
