i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
