Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
