We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
