I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
