what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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