she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
