The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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