He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
