are you still at the devil's house?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
