I wanna bring you to show and tell
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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