I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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