Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
