i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
