Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
