new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
