I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
