What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
