my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
