Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
